Dinoworld im Kölner Zoo

Hi everyone, and willkommen! Today, we’re in the fine city of Cologne, Germany, and visiting the wonderful Kölner Zoo! I didn’t know this in advance, but it turns out there’s a dinosaur event on this year! What a nice surprise. I check for dinosaur events in my area every year, so it’s extra nice to be surprised every now and again. Oh boy, let’s look at some dinosaur animatronics! I’m excited already.

Oh bugger. The banner has an AI generated dinosaur on it. Boo! Hiss! This one isn’t the worst, but there’s something about AI generated dinosaurs in particular that makes me sick to my stomach, and the website of the zoo is currently infested with the horrible things. This is not a metaphor or a hyperbole, AI images make me feel physically queasy. I can’t stand the sight of them. Can I have the Papo T. rex back, please? It’s a shame, because the dinosaur animatronics at the park themselves actually look quite good.

Exhibit A: Europasaurus. Next to the camel exhibit, these are the dinosaurs from Germany that greet us by the entrance. Here, we find that at our time of visit, the event hasn’t quite begun yet. They are clearly animatronic dinosaurs, but they aren’t moving yet. There’s clearly a speaker hidden among the rocks, but no sound comes out. That suited us fine, as we came here to look for some peace and quiet away from the bustle of the city! The event proper starts April the 12th, complete with a VR experience that I probably would have skipped anyway. We could at least get a good look at the dinosaurs.

For animatronics, these really aren’t bad at all! They seem in good condition, and far from the shapeless blobs or fanciful dragons we usually see. The main one has a very detailed, colourful head, a nice pebbly texture and a spiny back. With sauropods, I’m always looking at the feet, and they seem to have gotten the feet broadly right here. The smaller one is a different story, with a weird bobble on its nose and a face that doesn’t look like any kind of sauropod. Still, we’re off to a good start, and I like how they are showcasing a German dinosaur to start with!

We’re coming in hot with the deep cuts today. This is Hypselosaurus, a smallish (dubious) titanosaur from France. Looks like the event is focused, at least partially, on showcasing European dinosaurs! I always appreciate that. Did this model come out of the factory meant to be Hypselosaurus and nothing else, or is this just some generic sauropod model that they slapped a cool sounding name on? No idea. It’s, again, a pretty nice looking sauropod, with a brachiosaur-like body and a diplodocus-like head. I like how pop culture sauropods don’t have noodle necks anymore. This is a huge beam of a neck. I wonder how it will move once they switch all of these on.

Here’s our first theropod, and the commitment to European dinosaurs continues, at least for the time being. The animal is marked as Lourinhanosaurus, from Portugal, but it was probably produced to be an Allosaurus. For an Allosaurus, it’s rather broad, but the horns are in the right place and we’ve got inward facing palms, score! Again, the quality of these is a step or two above average for animatronics. The prey it’s eating seems to be a spike-thumbed iguanodont, which would be an anachronism. Whew, I’m glad I found something to criticize!

Another Portuguese one, with this being Lourinhasaurus, not to be confused with Lourinhanosaurus above! Nice placement in front of pelican island; I think this is within the bounds of the pelican enclosure. Lourinhasaurus is a camarasaurid, and I’m seeing a particularly bulbous head here. Maybe speculative, inflated display structures? It’s interesting and full of character, though I’m maybe not as impressed with the level of detail here. The obligatory nest makes an appearance, even though I wouldn’t really expect to see a nest next to a sauropod; of all the dinosaurs, sauropods seem to be the ones that provide the least parental care.

If you look next to the front leg, that’s where the dinosaur display sign is. Completely unreadable in its current placement, and I’ve seen this throughout the expo. It’s very bizarre. I wonder if they plan on moving these once the actual event starts?

This is where the praiseworthy commitment to European dinosaurs ends and conventionality takes over. Of course, we didn’t really believe we’d be getting away without seeing at least one T. rex. This one is, interestingly, off on a distant, tiny island that isn’t actually accessible, so we can only see it from a distance.

In keeping with the rest of these, it’s a pretty nice T. rex anyway. It’s definitely more Prehistoric Planet than Jurassic Park. Once more, the builders got the hands and feet right, its face is free of shrinkwrapping and it’s a nice and bulky beast. The pose is rather low-slung. Again, we can’t read the sign at all; it’s on the island with it!

Where T. rex goes, Triceratops can’t be far away, and we’ve got another nice big one here. It’s got its eye closed. Presumably, the eyelid will move once it’s been switched on. I’m not overly fond of the colours on this one. Compared to the intricately detailed colours found on Europasaurus and T. rex, this one is kinda green with an orange head. I’d have preferred something more detailed, maybe with some markings on the frill, rather than these plain colours. It also has a baby, but I didn’t get a good photo of it.

After this perilous trip to North America, it’s back to Europe. Iguanodon is treated with the respect it deserves, being massive and elephantine, just as big as the actual elephants across the path. I love how bulky the hands are. It’s a weird experience, seeing these animatronics made from the same material as the usual droopy Chinasaurs which I associate with poor quality, but have the dinosaurs themselves look nice for once. You may or may not notice that the display sign is facing away from the path here. No idea what’s going on with these signs.

Inside the enclosure of the marabou – themselves pretty impressive dinosaurs – we have two more famous saurians from Europe: Megalosaurus and Plateosaurs. Featuring them together is another anachronism, but whatever. I’ve been pretty impressed with the dinosaurs so far, but these are a bit plain and featureless. The Megalosaurus still has the hands in the right position, so that’s a plus. And it seems to have a well-observed megalosaurid skull, probably based on Torvosaurus.

I’m less impressed with Plateosaurus. Not that it’s a bad reconstruction, but they seem to have gone out of their way to make it look unspectacular, with a low slung posture and drab, grey colours. It’s lacking bulk, too. I’d love to see the basal sauropodomorphs look a bit more colourful and impressive in pop culture; they were much more interesting and cool than usually portrayed.

It looks like spectacle will be forthcoming, though!

There’s nothing better than a life-sized giant sauropod, especially when they look this awesome! It towers over everything. No spines, no fills, no bright colours, just the pleasing diagonal shape of a massive macronarian. I have no idea what dinosaur this is, I couldn’t find a sign for this anywhere. It would make sense for it to be Giraffatitan, the brachiosaur famously on display in Berlin (which isn’t anywhere close to Cologne but still famous in Germany). It would be acceptable as any depiction of a brachiosaur or titanosaur, really. You can see the seams on the neck where the animatronic will move, but I think seeing the dinosaurs in stillness, without the stiff, robotic movements, might be more enjoyable for someone like me. The kids will love them when they move, I’m sure!

Finally, there’s this somewhat mysterious theropod near the exit. The display sign is covered in burlap, so your guess is as good as mine. Look at the shape of the skull, the rough texture on the snout and the four-fingered hand. I think we’re meant to look at some kind of abelisaur like Majungasaurus or Rugops. Abelisaurids are mostly known from the Southern hemisphere, but they seem to have been around in Europe, with Acrovenator a species known from France. That’s what I’m choosing to believe this is, even if it’s an obscure species. It’s not a deeper cut than Hypselosaurus or Lourinhanosaurus!

The Dinoworld at Kölner Zoo is a nice dinosaur expo, let down by some extremely horrible marketing. It will open properly on April the 12th. I don’t know how long it goes on for, as that would involve me looking at the website again, seeing more AI dinosaurs and feeling my stomach turn upside down. Please, please, please, never use AI generated images. I beg you. It has to stop. Paying an artist is best, but I’d happily settle for stock dinosaurs. AI dinosaurs are an affront to God, nature and all that is good in this world. Which is too bad, cause the animatronics themselves are pretty alright and exceeded my expectations. I’ve been growing weary of the poor quality of animatronic dinosaurs I ususally see, so this has been a welcome change of pace. I very much appreciate just how much they showcase the dinosaurs of Europe. Why not just put them on the poster?

As for the rest of the Kölner Zoo, what a treat it was. Highlights were the great, enormous elephant enclosure, plus lots of rare animals such as okapis, black rhinoceroses, Philippine crocodiles, babirusa, snow leopards and a particularly impressive collection of birds. Have a visit if you’re in the area! There, people of Köln, I’ve said something nice. Now please take those AI images away.